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Published: Feb 24, 2005
Modified: Feb 24, 2005 8:07 AM
If your uncle showed up at a club in a powder-blue tuxedo, drank Crown Royal straight from the bottle and started doing the "Humpty Dance" right on the dance floor, it still wouldn't be as tacky as "Beer Wars."
Kyle Niehoff, the writer, producer, director, editor and co-star of this suds-soaked dog-and-pony show, is aware that his film lacks the ingredients of cinematic art.
"It was just one, big hobby," he says. He rented the art-house theater for $500 to debut his tongue-in-cheek sci-fi Western. "If you look at it from the standpoint of two old college buddies with one camera and a case of beer, and they decided to make a movie, then the quality is going to go up a little bit."
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Shot on and off in the back yards, basements and garages of Wake Forest for eight years, with no budget, S-VHS cameras rented from a community access channel, a bunch of kids from the School of Communication Arts providing animation, and friends and loved ones as cast and crew, this "Star Wars" spoof is DIY filmmaking at its most dedicated -- and its most tacky.
"Wars" centers on two denim jacket-clad, rebel space men, played by Niehoff and longtime pal "Spider" ("Let's leave it at 'Spider,' " Niehoff says), who glide around space, drunk out of their minds, snatching up bits of a master microbrew recipe before it falls in the hands of resident baddie Dark Brewer. Instead of a helmet, Brewer wears a 24-pack beer box, painted black, on top of his head.
So just where did the idea to put all this nonsense on film come from?
"Boy, I'm looking for words even to answer that question," admits Niehoff, 35, a former Massachusetts resident. "It wasn't even so much a 'Star Wars' parody. I really don't know where it came from. It just came out of me."
The concept started with Niehoff's frustration over not finding his favorite brand of beer, Coors, on store shelves most of the time. He found that a certain, big-name, beer brand was taking up all the shelf space as well as stealing attention away from lesser-known brands. (He refuses to say the mighty beer's name, just in case they may want to sponsor his film somewhere down the line.)
With this us-against-them inspiration, and a bunch of pals ready to get blitzed on-camera, he made "Wars." An irrelevant eight-minute scene with two characters playing a Russian Roulette-style drinking game called "The Beer Hunter" was included so audience members could go to the bathroom.
It's still up in the air whether he'll try to market "Wars" as a midnight-movie staple or a straight-to-DVD title.
"If there's an appetite for it, that's fine," he says. "But just look at it, it's too silly."
And tacky. Don't forget tacky.
Staff writer Craig D. Lindsey can be reached at 829-4760 or clindsey@newsobserver.com.
